Well this is it! My last year of grade school. In 77 days I will be walking the stage and getting my diploma! I am very excited about this. It has always been one of my life goals to finally get a diploma. The high school thing is assure fire gonna happen thing, but as far as college I really dont know right now.
In January I sent out 4 applications to 4 different colleges. I have been denied from 2 of them ( 1 being my #1 choice). I was accepted in to one of them, and as for the 4th one i have a visit on Saturday and have not heard about acceptance/ denial.
so in loo of being denied to two of the four and only getting accepted into one i really do not want to go to, I applied to three more SUNY schools. I have no clue where i will be going to college and if it has to be GCC then I guess GCC is where im going to have to go.
It all really sucks and makes me super stressed about what is to come.
I just wish that i knew what was going to happen, and where i will be going.
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
I am Eight Teen years old.
This one is an easy one to come to terms with. You simply cannot change your age. You are born when you are born not before and not after.
I was born on July 30, 1996.
I have had eight teen birthdays and hope to have more to come!
My age allows me to make decisions, decisions that can be a determent or a help to my life.
As an immature eight teen year old I have done what most eight teen year old have done.
Smoking is gross DO NOT DO IT!
Scratch offs are a waste of money. being a teenager who pays for her stuff by her self I do not waste my money on those.
Being eight teen allows for more than just making decisions on whether to smoke or gamble or to rent a porta potty If your so inclined!!
It means you no longer need a parental consent at the doctors.
It means you can drive after nine and not need an adult with you!
It means freedom...BUT it also means responsibility and I mean lots!
Taking the responsibility in stride is kinda hard, because at least for me I have the mentality that I am an adult who has it all figured out. But in reality I need guidance and help making decisions that are now mine to make.
Eight teen.
The year you start to become you.
Never before in my life have I had so much on my mind and plate at once!
Eight teen is a temporary part of what makes me who I am.
I was born on July 30, 1996.
I have had eight teen birthdays and hope to have more to come!
My age allows me to make decisions, decisions that can be a determent or a help to my life.
As an immature eight teen year old I have done what most eight teen year old have done.
Smoking is gross DO NOT DO IT!
Scratch offs are a waste of money. being a teenager who pays for her stuff by her self I do not waste my money on those.
Being eight teen allows for more than just making decisions on whether to smoke or gamble or to rent a porta potty If your so inclined!!
It means you no longer need a parental consent at the doctors.
It means you can drive after nine and not need an adult with you!
It means freedom...BUT it also means responsibility and I mean lots!
Taking the responsibility in stride is kinda hard, because at least for me I have the mentality that I am an adult who has it all figured out. But in reality I need guidance and help making decisions that are now mine to make.
Eight teen.
The year you start to become you.
Never before in my life have I had so much on my mind and plate at once!
Eight teen is a temporary part of what makes me who I am.
Monday, April 6, 2015
Who am I?
This question was posed to me in a YouTube video made by Ingrid Nilsen. This question is posed to many people everyday but they look at it like "what you do makes you who you are" but as Ingrid so nicely put it "who you are decides what you do".
That statement hit me and started me on thinking a lot on life and who I am.
So here it goes:
I am eight teen years old.
I am a Senior in High School and a soon to be freshmen in college (hopefully).
I am confused.
I am tired of society and its impossible to achieve norms.
I am stressed.
I am trying to hold it together.
I am upset with what I have been told my entire life and having it not be true.
I am sick of being rejected.
I am not the happy, kind, and loving person I was six months ago.
I am sad.
I am in a state of panic and distress.
I am over High School and all of its drama.
AND
I am trying to make it all better.
In the next short weeks i will be addressing these points of who I am mostly to try and better understand the me I see in the mirror everyday. In doing this I hope to sort out my life and move in the right direction.
That statement hit me and started me on thinking a lot on life and who I am.
So here it goes:
I am eight teen years old.
I am a Senior in High School and a soon to be freshmen in college (hopefully).
I am confused.
I am tired of society and its impossible to achieve norms.
I am stressed.
I am trying to hold it together.
I am upset with what I have been told my entire life and having it not be true.
I am sick of being rejected.
I am not the happy, kind, and loving person I was six months ago.
I am sad.
I am in a state of panic and distress.
I am over High School and all of its drama.
AND
I am trying to make it all better.
In the next short weeks i will be addressing these points of who I am mostly to try and better understand the me I see in the mirror everyday. In doing this I hope to sort out my life and move in the right direction.
Starting Again
Okay so, I have had this blog or almost three years and I really have not used it as a blog as much as a venting port when some of the big dramas in my life struck. I will still be using it to show my opinion but I will try to make it count.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Monday, September 9, 2013
Jounior year!
So summer is offically over. It was long and I was gone for 7 weeks of it! And now its back to reaility.
I started my jounior year of high school last week. It is long and dificault but I am excited about the school year that is aahead of me!
Ill keep you posted on how things continue to go as the year goes on!
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
People are crazy!
The people i have encountered in my life have been all different kinds of people. They have been old and young, tall and short, but most of all the big difference is sane or crazy.
Let me start off by saying that i have been through allot growing up. Not in a bad way but a way that has made me the person i am today. My parents were the type of people who helped when needed so their were various people who have lived with us growing up. They were mostly "broken" people who needed fixing. My parents were also foster parents who took in teenage girls and also little kids. It wasn't all bad we ended up adopting my little brother through that. But their were some crazy's who influenced me more than the others. their was Rachel who punched the wall and left a hole, she also left a dent in my moms car from punching it. she was incapable of expressing her emotions in a healthy way. but their is a line between fun life loving crazy and the crazy where you punch holes in walls and cut your self and make your self throw up crazy. i have dealt with all of these. But nothing could have prepared me for the crazy in my life now! i haven't had too deal with the delusional crazy before. the ones who make up fantasy worlds and then tell people thats the truth.this is new and it is hard. it is the kind of crazy you can not approach because you could be the one pushing them over the edge. the one who is a problem rather than a solution.
i see it as a test to make me stronger, but it is rely hard to hold on until the end and not let me be the person that i am. the one who flips out and speaks my mind weather or not it is nice. but i will press on towards the prize and go through what god is putting me through and do it with a smile.
Let me start off by saying that i have been through allot growing up. Not in a bad way but a way that has made me the person i am today. My parents were the type of people who helped when needed so their were various people who have lived with us growing up. They were mostly "broken" people who needed fixing. My parents were also foster parents who took in teenage girls and also little kids. It wasn't all bad we ended up adopting my little brother through that. But their were some crazy's who influenced me more than the others. their was Rachel who punched the wall and left a hole, she also left a dent in my moms car from punching it. she was incapable of expressing her emotions in a healthy way. but their is a line between fun life loving crazy and the crazy where you punch holes in walls and cut your self and make your self throw up crazy. i have dealt with all of these. But nothing could have prepared me for the crazy in my life now! i haven't had too deal with the delusional crazy before. the ones who make up fantasy worlds and then tell people thats the truth.this is new and it is hard. it is the kind of crazy you can not approach because you could be the one pushing them over the edge. the one who is a problem rather than a solution.
i see it as a test to make me stronger, but it is rely hard to hold on until the end and not let me be the person that i am. the one who flips out and speaks my mind weather or not it is nice. but i will press on towards the prize and go through what god is putting me through and do it with a smile.
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